The Greatest Crime

Recently I found myself watching yet another late night mystery show where the horrific serial killer turned out to be a Christian. It’s always the same, the uneducated or brainwashed believer sees themselves as fulfilling the will God by snuffing out those who live after the devil. Usually, this means anyone who’s sexual lifestyle consist of more than one partner, especially involving the same gender, and/or indulges in any form of life’s pleasures. After multiple sickening acts of quote on quote holy endeavors, this madness is finally put to an end by our hero who sends this deranged maniac to their so-called God of love.

This now common plot line and widely accepted viewpoint breaks my heart and is, in my opinion, the greatest crime……. committed by Christians.

Could there be a sin that is greater than another? When I ask this question I am not implying that God is less capable of forgiving one sin over another or that a person is beyond hope of salvation if they commit such a sin. I wholeheartedly believe that the only act that God will not overlook on judgment day is the act of refusing His Son’s free gift of atonement for sin.

With that said, there obviously are sins that have greater weight in their effect on others. Any sane person will agree that killing an innocent person is a far greater sin than stealing a stick of gum. They are both sins, leaving the individual guilty and in need of salvation, but one is clearly more devastating to others.

On this scale of sins, I believe that the greatest crime that can be committed is the crime committed in the name of Christ by a Christian. Yes, I am saying that a sin committed by a Christian is far more devastating and wrong then the same sin committed by a non-believer. We as followers of Christ are most definitely held to and judged by a higher standard. When we bare the title of Christian we become a living representation of Christ to this world. For this reason, what we do and how we act is how this world will see Christ. Sadly I’m afraid we have done a terrible job showing who our Saviour truly is.

The world that lies just beyond your white steeple churches can easily see what we as Christians stand against, but I’m afraid it’s far more difficult for them to see what we stand for. Our Savior did indeed stand against sin but He also stood for the sinner. He stood between the harlot and her condemning mob. He stood between the prostitute and the demons that held her captive. He even stood between his own disciples when they chose to judge the woman who washed His feet. Jesus condemned sin but loved the sinner.

Christians are the only ones who kill their own wooded, is a saying that must be proven undeniably wrong; not with anger and outrage but with love and kindness.

What if acts of caring for others was associated with our title as Christians instead of examples of harsh judgment and rejection. What if church was a place you knew you could find safety and acceptance. What if every time the name of Christ was used it was associated with a group of people who lived in such a way that could be explained by only one word; love.

It is true that those who have accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior will not be judged for their sins, however, we will stand before our King one day and take account for what we did with His name. My greatest fear in life is not death for I know where I stand in eternity. My greatest fear is one day seeing the opportunities that I passed up, the lives I could have touched, the souls I could have reached. What kind of life will you able to present to your King? Will it be one of self-service, or one dedicated to sharing love with this world. Why else would God leave us here on this earth if not to share His message of love? If it were not our duty and responsibility to reach the lost then I have no doubt that God would have taken us to heaven the moment we chose to believe. But instead, He leaves us here, not to live for ourselves but to allow Him to live through us.

So next time you watch a late night mystery show where the villain turns out to be a believer or any other situation where the name of Christ is showcased in a negative light, let that challenge you to live a life that shows who your Savior truly is. You may be the only Jesus that someone sees.

Make the Plan, Execute the plan, Expect the plan to go off the rails, Throw away the plan

The four rules you need to remember.

Make the Plan
Execute the plan
Expect the plan to go off the rails
Throw away the plan

Captain Cold’s idea of strategizing his evil schemes is one that most of us would never consider being an advisable business tactic. However, though she did not present her counsel in this exact light, Danielle Strachman’s advice to young entrepreneurs actually lines up quite nicely with our ever so cool villain’s ideology.

Recently I had the opportunity to watch a recording of a group call with Danielle Strachman, a General Partner of 1517 Fund, as she gave advice to members of the Praxis program. During this call, Danielle helped lay out the necessary steps to starting an entrepreneurial business.

1. Make the Plan

When asked how one can determine whether or not an idea is worth pursuing, Danielle advised that an individual determine the weak areas of their product or service before they put the time, effort and money into creating it. By getting your product out in front of people and receiving their feedback, one can discover areas of their business that can be improved or completely changed. In order to know if your business plan will work, it first must prove its ability to create value for others.

Being able to measure exactly what you are creating for your customer will allow you to market your product in a way that your consumer can understand and see the value in. Are you creating an easier product, a cheaper product, a new trend, etc? What value are you creating? If you can demonstrate the value of your product to a customer then you won’t have to argue with them on whether it’s actually valuable. Any way of gathering the opinions of potential customers will improve the likelihood of your business plan’s success.

2. Execute the plan

The question of how to go about pitching one’s business plan to a potential sponsor came up during this group call. Danielle advised her listeners was to have two plans to present. One, the grand scale plan; and two, the step by step actions that are already in motion.

Here’s the thing, big ideas and plans sound cool but they don’t promise success. A potential sponsor is going to be far more interested in the steps that you have already taken in bringing about your desired goals. It’s like the difference between saying you are going to win the Superbowl, and actually having a game plan for how to stop the Patriots defense and score more than once in the entire game. Sorry Ram fans.

Saying what your end goal is without a step by step idea of how you will get there will leave you lost and perhaps even without a Superbowl ring. Know where you are going but also how you are going to get there.

3. Expect the plan to go off the rails

One thing I’ve learned growing up in the rodeo world is that it’s not a question of if you’ll get hurt, but how. The same thing applies to starting your own business. The plan is gonna go off tracks.

Danielle’s answer to these unpredicted wrecks is having the right team. If you go into your business endeavor anticipating obstacles along the way then you will be able to choose the right people to be by your side. If each team member has their area of expertise and they know that they are being counted on to pull their load, then the entire body can function properly. If one person lords over the rest, trying to be the expert in each area, then the body will starve, overwork itself, and die. A team is made of members that respect each other’s roles and who can also step back from the rest of the body so as to see what can be improved as a whole.

4. Throw away the plan

In the end, your plan may not work. It’s sad but it’s still a chance. Here’s the thing though, mistakes are opportunities to learn, and as long as you learn to form your experience then it’s not actually a mistake. If your business idea turns out to be a flop then learn from it and then throw it out. Don’t allow yourself to hold to a lie that you’ve somehow failed. Move on to your next adventure.

Here’s some failure statistics for you. Walt Disney went bankrupt, Dr. Seuss was rejected by 27 publishing companies, and Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first TV job as an anchor in Baltimore. Just remember

Often the goal is closer than

It seems to a faint-hearted man

Often the struggler has given up,

When he might have captured the victor’s cup

And he learned too late when the night slipped down

How close he was to the golden crown

Never allow your failure to define you. Use them to become a better you.

So get your cool gun, put on some sick shades, and master that perfect villain grin. You have the ability to create value for others, so get out there and do it.

Just Eat Your Greens

One thing that I have noticed about living in a family of 10 is that “I’m going to” doesn’t mean that anything will actually get accomplished. “I’m going to take out the trash”, “I’m going to finish the kitchen”, I’m going to pick up Morgan form the house”. Poor Morgie, she still won’t let my parents live down the time they left her behind.

Now I’m not at all running down my family members because I know that I am just as guilty of this as anyone. Every time I sit down to write out my tasks for the week I find myself writing down more unaccomplished projects form the week before than anything else. This is a poor character flaw that I have to keep myself aware of and working on at all times, which is why I use the broccoli method.

Growing up I hated broccoli, but having an amazing mother as I do, I was still forced to eat my greens. Around the age of 5, I discovered that if I ate my less then scrumptious food first I could get the whole deal over with and move on to more appetizing substances. However, if I allowed my steamed vegetables to sit on my plate for as long as my parents would allow, they would become soggy, cold, and if possible, even more, distasteful then before. With this discovery, I began forcing myself to do the opposite of what felt natural and eat my broccoli as quickly as possible, washing it down with a quick glass of water.

Looking back, the entire sean was entirely silly but it did teach me a good lesson. If we force ourselves to just get things done instead of setting them aside for later, then we can move on to better and more appetizing projects. On the other hand, when we allow ourselves to do what feels more enjoyable first, then these tasks become even less pleasurable and more time-consuming. Putting off what should be done today will only set you behind tomorrow.

Here’s an idea, what if we started saying “I’m doing it now” or even better “I just did” instead of “I’m going to”? I’ll tell you what would happen, we’d get a lot more accomplished with our lives. We would no longer miss opportunities due to procrastination; we would no longer have late work assignment, and people would take us much more seriously. Here’s a secret; people care a whole lot more about what you’ve done then what you say you’re going to do.

So next time you say that you’ll finish that project, start that task, or pick up the kid, just do it. And to that, Morgan says “Amen!”

A big shout out to Praxis and their book Forward Tilt for the inspiration of today’s blog. Be sure to check out their program.

Your Reality vs. Their Fantasy

In the selfie world that we live in, it can be all too easy to get caught up in the comparison game. Her hair is flawless, his job is perfect, their life is so much better than mine. With constant reminders of what other people’s lives supposedly look like, it’s no wonder so many of us feel as if our lives just don’t measure up. Here’s the thing though, their life aren’t real, or at least it’s not all there. You see when your friend on Instagram posts a picture of her new boyfriend, she’s not going to tell you about the fight they had last week or the heartbreaks she’s had in the past. Your buddy who has that sweet job isn’t going to Tweet about how overbearing his boss is or his insane hours. Social media post aren’t actual life. They’re the parts of life that we want others to see, with a filter to enhance the view. When we compare our reality to someone else’s fantasy we’re playing an unwinnable game.

Here’s a reality check for you. You’re not in a race with anyone around you. You don’t have to compare yourself to anyone, you don’t have to measure up. In fact, you shouldn’t. The only person you should be racing against is the you that you could be. Allow me to explain.

There are two you’s. You, and then the you that you could have been if you would have chosen to do give 110%. Now in this race against yourself, there are two main rules. 1, comparing yourself to this other you is only allowed when it encourages you to become a better you. 2, there is no loser, only a winner.

If you compare yourself to this other you to the point that every accomplishment in your life becomes meaningless and your self worth is destroyed then you are playing the exact same reality vs. fantasy game only with yourself. When you do this it allows this other you to win, which means you actually lose. This race is meant to be a neck to neck nail biter with the other you just barely ahead. One thing about racing is that you always push yourself to run faster when your opponent is just within arms reach. If you focus on who you could be instead of on comparing your life to the fantasies of others, then you can become better instead of bitter.

So next time you see that perfect selfie, double click and then move on to your own reality and the race you have to run. Choose to see life through your own eyes and not a filter.

But first, let me take a selfie 😜

A big shout out to Praxis and their book Forward Tilt for the inspiration of today’s blog. Be sure to check out their program.

Self-Control and Knowledge

“The key to life is running and reading” – Will Smith

I’ll admit it, I’m not a morning person. I love sunrises, the feeling of a warm cup of coffee in my hands, and early morning radio talk, but getting out of bed is just not fun. The soft pillow that through the night has formed to the perfect shape around my head, the warm blankets wrapped around my body in a bear hug, and the strong and handsome man in my dream, all seem to beg me to stay confined to my bed. I’ve listened to many talks on how getting up early is more health, more productive, and if you’ve ever watched Tim Ferriss’s youtube video you know that to win the day you must first win the morning. I know all of this is true, but that doesn’t make waking up any easier. You see, I can love sunrises and I can know all the benefits of waking up before 6 am but in order to actually reap those benefits I have to have the self-control to say “No” to my body and that handsome man in my dreams. The key to waking up in the morning, or any activity that is less than enjoyable, is self-control.

When Will Smith says that one of the two keys to life is running, he is referring to the act of enforcing your will power to keep going even when your body says stop. If you desire to have a productive life where you are in control then you must exercise and strengthen your self-control. A person who is dictated by their circumstances can never make a difference or impact the world because they themselves are being controlled by the world. You want to win the day, win the morning. You want to win your life, win yourself.

Growing up, my mother (who was also my teacher), would start each day of class by asking us “Why are you here?” Together, each of my siblings would recite the answer we had been taught since as far back as we could remember. “To learn about the world, so we can make the world a better place.” These words have stayed with me into my adulthood and are still to this day the motivation for why I’m here.

Having self-control without gaining knowledge is like buying a stang and not knowing how to drive. You may look cool to everyone around you but you definitely won’t get anywhere. When my mother asked me why I was here, she was actually saying that being in the classroom with my pen and paper wasn’t enough, I had to actually learn something. Having the passion to change the world and the self-control to keep yourself on track isn’t enough, you actually have to gain the knowledge as to how you will go about changing the world. This is exactly why Will Smith says that reading is the second key to life. No matter what obstacle you may be facing, project you need to complete, or idea you need to understand, there is someone out there who has written a book that can help you. Why re-invent the wheel when you can learn from those who have already mastered it. There is a plentiful supply of knowledge out there for anyone who has a passion to learn. So don’t just sit in your stang, drive it.

Will Smith specifically said that running and reading are the keys to life. I believe that the true message behind this statement is not to just take up running and reading but that we should determine to implant in our lives activities that exercise and strengthen our self-control and understanding. Be that through waking up earlier, limiting our social media intake, or going on a daily run. Perhaps you will enroll in a class, ask those who have been in your place before or take the time to read a book. No matter how you go about obtaining these key life skills, the important thing is that you end each day with greater control of yourself and a greater understanding of the world.

For sale vs. Sold

As a dog breeder, I truly understand the cash value of cute. When selling my puppies though, the number one dilemma I face is not a lack of demand, it’s not the marketing technics of convincing people to buy, it’s not even the inward struggle to keep each and every adorable puppy (which is a real struggle to be sure). The number one dilemma I face is getting people to know that I even have puppies for sale. The difference between having something for sale and actually making money off that product depends entirely on one’s ability to make their product known.

No matter what market you may be in, there are 2 keys in being able to make a profit. 1, have a product. I know this one is kind of obvious, but it still needs to be mentioned. If I were to start advertising for a litter of pups before I found a sire for my female, then I would be putting the cart before the horse; or dog in this case. The information I could supply to my potential customers would be minuscule, to say the least. Without the ability to determine age, breeding records, color, or even gender, my chances of being able to satisfy any consumer would be near impossible. In the same way, if you have an amazing market and demand without a product to offer then you will end up with aggravated customers (who won’t come back) and no profit. To sell a puppy you must have a puppy.

2nd key; find your market and get them to notice you. I will admit, I can be a bit manipulative when it comes to this step. You see, I know that the way to an adult’s wallet is through their children. When I set up at a gig, rarely will I focus on drawing in adults, at least during the first few hours. I go straight for the cute pigtailed little girls. I know that if I can get that sweet little girl to fall in love with one of my pups then she will be a far more convincing salesman to her parents then I ever could. It’s all about finding your market and then creating the perfect strategy to get them to notice you.

This same strategy applies no matter your product. You have to be creative in how you get people to pay attention to your sales. I could take my pups and walk them around asking every adult I see if they would be interested in buying a puppy, but that’s not at all creative and will honestly annoy my desired market more then interest them in buying. If you look at my way of marketing I spend hardly any time with my targeted customer. 90% of my conversations and attention go to entertaining kids. It usually looks like a petting zoo and not an actual business, but I’m telling you it works. If you want to sell your product, first determine who your customers are and then find a way to get your product in their hands in a way that no one else can.

With your product available and your strategy for getting the attention of your desired market, you will have the necessities in place for potential sells. Whether you’re selling cars, a personal skill, or creation of your own, the ability to get that product in front of the right person will be the difference between For Sale and Sold.

Who Are You?

Who are you? It’s a simple question but a difficult one to answer. How can we know who we are? Do we look to ourselves for this personal definition or should we look outward to determine our identity? What should we consider to be the truth about ourselves? What about the negativity of degrading messages that hit us on a daily bases? How can we know who we truly are?

For me, as a follower of Christ, this question is not only a simple question but it is also an easy one to answer. You see before I came to know my Lord and Savior I had to ask myself the above questions. I would have to wonder if what others said about me and what I thought of myself was the truth. With so many options, mostly being negative, what would I believe?

Now that I am a new creature in Christ though, I no longer live by these opinions of the world, because I am no longer of the world. Instead, I find my identity in who God says I am to Him.

On days when I feel lost and began to look at myself once again through the eyes of others, this question of who I am can crush my very soul. At times like this, I turn to the one place where I know I can always find the truth; God’s word.

Recently I was given an opportunity to participate in the power of claiming your identity and worth by seeing yourself as God sees you. This experience has inspired me to do a bit of studying for myself on who I am to God. My hope and prayer is that you too would see yourself through the eyes of your Loving Father and be encouraged by who He sees you as.

When I consider my lack of ability to earn God’s forgiveness and my apparent worthlessness, I must remember that it is not by my works that I am saved but by the grace of Jesus Christ, which I can never earn (Eph 2:8). With this understanding, I can see that my worth comes from who I am in Christ and not what I have done.

In Christ, I am Justified and Redeemed (Rom 3:24). My old self, who I once was and what I once did, is crucified with Christ (Rom 6:6). I am a new creature, my old self no longer has control over me nor determines who I am (2 Cor 5:17). I am set free (Rom 8:2). I will never be condemned for what I have done, nor for my short comes even now (Rom 8:1). Before God, I am blameless (Eph 1:4). I do not have to (nor could I ever) earn this freedom, it is a gift (Eph 2:8).

In Christ, I am blessed to a degree I can bearly fathom (Eph 1:3). Wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption are given to me (1 Cor 1:30). By salvation, the righteousness of Christ has been placed on me (2 Cor 5:21). I have been given a family and place in the body of Christ (Gal 3:28). I have access to enter into the presence of God (Eph 3:12). I have been given the ability to draw near to God, and He desires for me to be close (Eph 2:13). I am no longer a slave of my old flesh for I have been given the ability to controls my heart and mind. (Phil 4:7). I can have complete trust in God because He promises to fulfill all my needs (Phil 14:19).

I am a child of the Most High (John 1:12, Gal 4:7). To Christ, I am a friend (John 15:15). Through the gift of salvation, I can have assurance in eternity as I am a citizen of heaven (Phil 3:20). From the beginning of time, God predestined/chose that He would bring to me the gift of salvation and it was His will that I come to know Him (Eph 1:11, John 15:16). I am whole and complete in Christ, lacking in nothing (Col 2:10). I am hidden in Christ and He has become my life (Col 3:3-4).

I am called to be a saint (1 Cor 1:2). A light to the world meant to shine the love of Christ in the darkness (Eph 5:8). I am meant to reach the world with the good news of salvation by grace (Mark 16:15).

As we see who we are in Christ and His love for us, we must remember that this identy is not one that we are meant to keep to ourselves. The love given to us by God should fill us to such a degree that we overflow with love for everyone in our life. Cherish who you are, as the precious apple of God’s eye, but don’t keep it trapped inside. Let the world know who you are, show them who they are to you, so that they may come to know who they too can be in Christ.

Silence, Anger, or Love

A respected slave owner who silently appalled the very trade in which he partook in, yet deemed any stance against this tide of the times as futile; a born and raised Northern woman who held strong to her beliefs and her faith, using the later to justify her opinions, proclaimed her hatred for any lithium person who would participate in this work of the devil; and a young heir to his father’s estate who had to choose what would be done with his newly acquired slaves and his own opinions on the matter. Three characters, each from Harriet Stowe’s classic Uncle Tom’s Cabin, still ring aloud truth for the rights of those today.

In the twenty-first century, we are no longer faced with the choice of standing for slavery or freedom, for our forefathers have already won this battle on which many a brave man laid down his life. The horrifying injustice that we face today is not of whether a life deserves to live free but instead whether a life deserves to live at all. According to CDC, over 600,000 abortions were performed in 2014 alone. Before you throw this paper away deeming it as a pro-life or pro-choice hate article, allow me to share my perspective on the matter.

Just as years before, our nation is divided on the differing of options on the right for an individual to choose. In many ways, slavery and abortion are much the same. The case was often presented by slave-owning defenders that slaves were better off as slaves then they would be on their own with freedom. Is this not what we are saying today when we determine that the quality of a child’s life would appear to be less than ideal, due to life circumstances or even physical conditions, and thus justify our actions in taking its life?

There is no question in my mind on whether abortion is justified or not, but that is not what I wish to speak about today. I am not writing in hopes of convincing someone to value the life of an unborn child. I am writing to those who already do but are doing little more than making matters worse. Any individual who would dare to cast judgment on a woman who has undertaken an abortion should have their right to speak on the matter taken away forever. Having an abortion is not a choice that is made lightly and by no means has no repercussions. This procedure is devastating to say the least, for both parties involved. According to studies presented by After Abortion.org, a woman who undergoes an abortion is six times more likely to commit suicide and that suicide is the leading cause of death in woman up to 365 days following their abortion. This tears at my very soul. How can we stand by as these women who feel trapped in a situation that they believe to have only one way out, now are plunged with guilt and rejection to such degree that they would take their own lives?

So what am I suggesting? It may sound as if I myself am taking the position of the silent slave owner, not wanting to stand agest the tide of wrong that sweeps our nation. But this is not at all what I mean. Silents is not the answer, but neither is proclaiming our disapproval through anger.

In the story of Uncle Tom’s Cabin, there were three characters who stood out to me for their stance on slavery. Augustine St. Clare, the silent slave owner; Miss Ophelia, the outraged northern Christian woman; and George Shelby a young man who found himself in possession of a cotton plantation and the soul enslaved thereon.

Augustine St. Clare truly appalled slavery, yet when confronted as to why he did nothing to put a stop to it he replied that there was nothing he could do. In his silence lives were destroyed and souls were lost.

Miss Ophelia’s outrage toward those who worked the devil’s trade, as she saw it, brought absolutely no aid to those bound by slavery. Up upon her soapbox of righteousness, she had not the time nor the desire to actually reach down to help the poor enslaved. Her opinions and constantly outstretched finger of judgment kept her ever to busy to reach out a hand of comfort to any a soul in need.

Yet between these two extremes, a young man who inherited his father’s cotton plantation chose to focus not on slavery but instead the enslaved. By freeing his slaves, George Shelby did indeed put a stop to slavery in his case, but that wasn’t enough. You see, putting a stop to a wrong is useless if we ignore the reason that such corruption came about in the first place. Freeing his slaves didn’t mean that they could then live freely, it just meant that they were no longer slaves. To live free George had to provide the means for these men and women to learn how to live in the white man’s world and to provide for themselves. We must do the same.

Sir George made a difference by providing a way for all men to live free, from both slavery and guilt. Yet he did this completely out of love….. for both slave and slave owner. We must do the same. We must provide ways for these defenseless infants to be protected from a system, not a person, who seeks to take their very right to live. We must create programs to care for these children, from inside the womb to birth and provide for them once brought into this world. Yet at the same time, we must also care for those who see this path as their only way out. Perhaps if the obstacles and judgments that come from having a child were removed, then our society might be able to see the value of life instead of the coast. Putting a stop to abortion by making it illegal will not suddenly make the life of an unborn child valued. But, making an unborn child’s life valuable, by also valuing the life of the mother, will put a stop to abortion.

There is definitely a reason this book is a classic and I encourage you to take the time (with a box of tissues in hand) and read this heartwrenching but moving story of Uncle Tom’s Cabin.

An Affective Attitude

The pursuit of happiness and the betterment of society. These are both admirable and desirable ambitions for life, yet can appear to be daunting and even impossible at times. How could someone in a suppressing circumstance ever reach a place of happiness in their life? How can one better their society when they themselves are trapped by its prejudices and inequality? The answer is obvious; they can’t.

How one views their life will determine what they will make of it. When an individual sees themselves as a victim of their circumstances, they will be unable to find joy or the ability to impact the lives of others. The only way that one can go about obtaining such a fulfilled life is through that of gratefulness. Yes, gratefulness. This one trait is the most powerful weapon one can wield in changing the world.

Where ingratitude brings about the feeling of victimization, unhappiness, and anger; gratitude brings about joy and the desire to help others. This is the truth revealed in Charles Dicken’s classic, Great Expectations. The life struggles between that of self-pity and gratitude are clearly addressed in this tale of a young man caught between the world he desires and believes he is owed, and that of the life he finds himself trapped within. Through these pages, we as the reader may be wise to take heed the lesson of a young man and his pursuit for great expectations.

The main character in our tale is a young man by the name of Pip. Throughout his life, he is continually faced with two character traits; Self-pity vs. Gratefulness, which present themselves in many obstacles and choices.

Being raised as an orphan by his cruel sister, and being of an exceedingly low income, Pip finds himself longing for a better way of life. At this young age, the wich like Miss Hamshire, intangles the poor boy in her snare. Consumed by her own self-pity, this woman conveniences Pip that it is the fault of his upbringing, his position in society, and his robbed opportunities, that he is unable to find happiness.

With this new outlook, Pip transforms himself into a victim of his own life. The circumstances he finds himself in are now beyond his power to rise above; after all, they are the fault of his surroundings and therefore exceeds his own power to change. Every opportunity to enjoy life’s little moments now became nothing more than a reminder of the life he seemingly deserved yet didn’t have. The few people in his life who truly loved and cared for him were now vexing obstacles in his way that only dragged him down to their level of living; a level far below what he rightfully deserved.

It is in this state that our star fixed himself within and so remained, ever awaiting the day when his great expectations would be fulfilled.

Hidden deep beneath this gloom and despair though, burned the slightest glims of a flame, fueled by a single man’s optimism. While Pip swallowed himself in his bleak outlook on life, his guardian, Joe the blacksmith, seemed to always see his life as half full. Though he found himself confined within the same lifestyle as Pip, this jolly old chap never allowed his circumstances to determine his attitude. Valuing everything in his life, be as little as it may, Joe saw every day as a gift and every person as a treasure to value; even his downhearted adopted son. Above all else in his life, Joe loved Pip, who to him was more than a son but a friend. Yet this friendship eventually brought bitter pain.

The day of Pip’s liberation from the life he so despised came with a coast, which to one person was very dear. Being adopted by an unknown rich ire, Pip had to choose whether he would follow his desires or hold to those who truly cared for him. The choice was an easy one for Pip, who left his home without looking back. To Joe though, this choice tore at his very heart; yet he never let it show. Without a moment hesitation, the loving guardian gave up his son and dearest friend, rejoicing in the lad’s great fortune.

The funny thing about ingratitude is that it doesn’t matter what you have in life; it will never be enough. This is exactly the scenario Pip found himself in. Though he had all the riches he could dream of and the opportunities that had been withheld from him for so many years; the empty feeling of being used and neglected could never be filled. That is until our star discovered a truth that had been freely given to him all along. In the act of selflessly risking his all for the life of another, Pip discovered that the only things in his life that truly mattered were those that he had earned himself through hard work and character.

In the end, it wasn’t life that had robbed him of his joy, it was himself. With this new found truth, our now hero found his way back to the love of those who had always cared for him and discovered the power he had within himself to break the chains of self-pity that he himself had forged.

Victim. This is a term that is all to often heard today, especially in our media reports. Don’t get me wrong, I completely believe that there are people who are being taken advantage of. But my question that I present to you is, what are we the victims of? Are we truly trapped within in an inescapable cell, or are we holding ourselves down? This is not to say that we should not try to improve our society. Not at all. Bettering our society is one of the two goals that I heald as admirable from the very beginning of this post. The key though to being able to truly change our circumstances is not in changing our society but in changing ourselves. If we blame our life problems and injustices on the world then we will never find a solution, for a world is an object and numbers measuring the billions; only people can make a change. The way we change our circumstances is by first starting with ourselves. It is an undeniable truth that grateful people are happy people and that happy people are the ones who help others. This is just how the world works. Unhappy people make life miserable and happy people make a difference.

So, maybe it’s time we stopped waiting for the world to change our lives for the better, and we decided to change ourselves for the betterment of this world.

Along with the inspiration from Charles Dicken’s book Great Expectationsions, I’d like to give a shout out to Prager U and their video on The Key to Unhappiness -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxmORnnP3WI

Wake up women and smell the Cologne

Have you ever wondered why the scent of men’s cologne is so much stronger than most woman’s perfume? Could it be because men are just naturally stinkier than us woman or perhaps it’s because they wish to skip on having to take a shower? Both of these answers have much truth in them yet I believe that there could possibly be a deeper reason. By nature, we as humans are self-centered and find it quite difficult to see the needs of those in our lives, even when we care deeply for them. As women, I believe that we may fall victim to this default even more so than our counterparts. This is not to say that men do not fall under this category as well, for they most definitely do. By nature, we as women wish to be cared for and loved to a deeper degree than most men do. For this reason, I believe that we all to often allow our own wishes to be cared for and seen, blind us from seeing the needs of our man. Perhaps this is the true reasoning behind such strongly scented cologne; to catch the attention of us woman. So ladies, let’s wake up and smell the cologne, shall we.

In her book, For Women Only, Shaunti Feldhahn reveals the deepest desires of a man’s heart. This list of 7 intimate longings are direct quotes from men themselves and a few of them might just surprise you.

First, Respect. When asked which they would rather have, men, choose respect over love nearly every time. Now to us women, this may feel like a stab through the heart. That our man would rather be respected than loved paints a picture in our minds of our husbands choosing us in a bowing position over us being in his arms. Yet nothing could be farther from the truth. To a man, respect and love are one in the same. Respecting your man does not mean you bring your own self-worth low, it simply means showing him how much he is worth to you. If your man feels as if you disrespect him or see him as inferior, then he will feel unloved. You have the power to build your man up by how you treat him and speak to him. By simply not questioning his judgment on every little thing, by believing in his ability to accomplish the task laid before him, never allowing yourself to criticize through harsh comments, and most certainly never ever under any condition allow yourself to run him down in public. These are all ways that you can show respect to your husband. Yet perhaps the greatest way to show your love is choosing to trust him no matter what may come, even if everyone around you seems to say you shouldn’t. Always assume the best of your man. Be the woman who stands by her man.

Secondly, build him up. Just as I stated in the above paragraph, you have the power to build your man up by how you treat him and speak to him. Your man feels as if every day he must face a world that for the most part believes he will fail and is waiting for him to do so. Often he feels completely alone in a battle for his life. Though every other person around may be against him, you have the power to strengthen your husband to the point that he feels untouchable. As long as he knows that you believe in him and that no matter what, you are by his side, your husband can take on the world. Yet with this power you possess as his loving wife, you also have the ability to destroy him. If he feels that you do not believe in him and see him as inadequate, then you will crush him and drive him to find his encouragement elsewhere. Behind every good man is a woman who believes in him.

Third, your man needs to provide. It is programmed into every living man to go out and provide for those he loves. If you take this form him or believe that he is unable to accomplish this task, then you are stealing his ability to feel like a man. If a man is not caring for his family because his wife has taken the responsibility or because she is constantly nagging him and he, therefore, sees no chance of him ever being enough; he will wither into a lesser of a man because to his way of thinking, that is exactly what he is. There is nothing wrong with a woman working. Read Prov 31; she worked! But the job of being the main provider for the family is a task that not only should be fulfilled by the man of the house but also one that he greatly needs.

Fourth, sex. Being a single woman, I can not give any personal insight in this matter, unlike the previous areas in which I have seen through relationships with my male friends. However, though I have not experienced this myself, I have seen the before and after effects. By fulfilling this need for your man you offer him two priceless gifts. The first is of desire. Your husbands long for you to desire him in this way. Knowing that he turns you on and that you long to be with him, just you and him, makes him feel worth more than anything else you could say or do for him. The second is that it gives him confidence in every other area of his life. A man who feels complete and loved by his wife will have an unquenchable drive and confidence to take on any obstacle life throws at him. Sex is so much more than physical intercourse. It is true intimacy.

Fith, how he sees the world. We as women must understand that we see the world much differently than men do. They see everything. Meaning they are extremely visual. This mean, hold on women is about to get uncomfortable. This means they see every woman. This is a constant fight within every man to control his thoughts and it is a fight that we can help him win. First, we must understand them. Once we see that this is not his way of searching out a better product, making us feel unwanted and inferior to every other woman that walks by, then we can actually see that he is not searching but is simply seeing. A woman who becomes angry at her husband is not helping him with his struggle; she is making it worse. Once we understand, we must distract. Your husband is fighting to keep his mind on you, so help him. By letting him know that he is desired and respected by you and by showing that through your words and actions, then you are giving him no reason to wonder. This is not to say that he will never look at another woman again. Remember, this is a fight within him. Yet just as with every obstacle in your lives together, you are there to help him through this life and be by his side.

Sixth, romance. If you have had any kind of interaction with guys you will know that romance is not their strong suit. In fact, most guys will admit that they feel very nervous and clumsy when it comes to their attempts at showing their love. With this said, lots of times a man’s fear of messing up in this area will keep him from trying, but this doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to. Every man in love wants to sweep his woman off her feet and have her fall madly in love with him over and over again. Here is where we can help. Women, we need to recognize the little things, the smallest attempts, and cherish even the mess ups. When your man does step out of his comfort zone and takes a chance on looking like a fool, we need to let him know that it means the world to us. Even if he feels like a clown to the whole world, as long as we show that in our eyes he’s a Romeo, he will do whatever it takes to be our romantic man.

Finally, number seven. What you think about…… yourself. This is a huge one. Our men want us to care about ourselves and to show that. Now, I am not by means saying that he expects you to be a size 3 and wear bikinis everywhere you go. What it means is having confidence in yourself and showing that through every aspect of your life. Just as the things that we say have the power to build our husband’s confidence, showing our own self-confidence also builds his own. Having a wife that brings him pride will give your husband the greatest bragging right ever given to man. And what wife doesn’t want her husband to brag on her.

With these seven tools to better understanding our men, we woman can not only get along with this strangely deranged species know as a man, but we can actually help them reach their greatest potential and who God created them to be.

At the end of her book, Shaunti asked men what is the one thing they would want to tell their wives. Out of the seven things that men desire listed above, almost every answer was the same. I love her. Our men, more than anything else want us to know that they truly love us no matter what. Even if they don’t know how to express themselves to us or show their love, they truly do love us with all of their heart. So, ladies, let’s stop trying to change our men into who we think they should be and instead start understanding who they are and helping them become who they were meant to be. Let’s wake up and smell the cologne.

Like this post? I strongly recommend every woman read Shaunti Feldhahn’s book For Women Only.